A Mother's Sacrifice of Love

I remember when my first child was born.  I was filled with many emotions.  I wondered how good of a mom I would be to this child.  Would I fail as a mom?  Would I succeed as a mom?  What kind of a man will he grow up to be?  All these things ran through my mind.  I thought of the responsibility that faced me.  The responsibility I had to this life to take care of all his needs, to comfort him when he was sad, to rejoice with him when he was happy, and to love and sacrifice my all for him.  It was my responsibility to teach him, to guide him, and to lead him in the right direction.  My every decision would now include what's best for him, not what's best for me.  I would have to sacrifice sleep, money, time, and my desires for what was best for him.  My whole point of view shifted when I became a mom.  Mom's are very important people with huge responsibilities. 

I remember when I was pregnant with him.  I had an abscessed tooth in my first trimester.  In the first trimester, a child is in his/her main developmental stage.  Its very important, especially in the first trimester, that you watch what you consume.  If you consume the wrong thing, it can cause birth defects, which would effect your child for the rest of his/her life. I was especially paranoid with my first pregnancy.  When my tooth flared up one night, I didn't even want to take extra strength Tylenol.  I was scared that I would do damage to my baby.  I didn't care about the pain.  I wasn't going to take a chance on hurting my child.  They did say it was safe, but in my mind, "what did they know."  I wasn't going to take a chance.  I was in so much pain.  Finally, my husband made probably the only statement he could have to make me take the medicine.  He said, "Not taking the pain medicine is causing stress on the baby and is more harmful than taking the medicine."  I was more concerned with what was best for him and not what was best for me.  Then I thought, "Would my son ever know of the sacrifice I just made for him." Would he ever fully understand the love I have for him?  Would he ever see the sacrifices I make for him?  This sacrifice starts as soon as we find out we are pregnant.  A mother's love for her child is indescribable. 

When he was born, he was beautiful (in a handsome way.)  He was my child, my baby forever.  He was healthy and everything went well.  They even discharged me from the hospital because they said everything was perfect.  But, they didn't discharge him yet because one more nurse had to look at him before he could be officially discharged.  She looked at him and walked out quickly without saying a word.  She and the nurse, who had been checking on us, came back in together and they looked at him together.  We were told that he had jaundice and the first nurse missed it.  We wouldn't be going home that day.  I was already discharged, but they let me stay one more night.  They would have brought him to the nursing station that night, but I wanted him.  He was kept under a light in just a diaper.  He hated to be unwrapped.  He cried and cried.  It broke my heart.  That night he kept pulling his eye covering off.  I kept putting it back on.  That night, I did not sleep at all because I was scared he would pull off his eye covering and become blind.  I thought, "If they bring him to the nursing station, they wouldn't watch him like I would."  Nobody loved this child like I did.  There was nobody better to watch over him than me.  Why would I send him away?  My whole desire was his well-being, not mine.  I didn't care if that cost me sleep, pain, etc.  I would do it in a heartbeat if that meant he was okay.  This may seem minor to most, but for me it didn't. 

Sacrificing for my children never ends.  Will our children ever know what we sacrifice for them?  We even give over our thoughts to them.  When we get away and have an outing by ourselves, we still worry about them.  We worry about how they are doing and what they are doing.  We think about them earlier that day and laugh at something funny they did or said.  Our whole thought system is filled with them.  And it doesn't end. 

This has taught me of the sacrifices my own mom has made for me.  Never take your mom for granted.  Never underestimate the love she has for you.  A mother will give and has given her all to make sure you are and you were safe, loved, and taken care of, even if that meant sacrificing everything for you.